Saturday i was on the bus yeah and i was, you know listening to my MP3 player minding my own business, sat on the back seat (as you do), rang the bell to get off the bus and guess what happened!
Yep that's right people, my jeans split, right up the arse crack.
What the f*** are you supposed to do when that happens?!
I could of died...the worst part of the story is the bus was packed, and the ripping, it wasn't silent either. You could hear the material ripping. It was like one of them ice breakers, or something... So anyway its a good job i was wearing a hoodie, i slipped it off and tied it round my waist in a flash. I had to go all round town like that! Blistering gales... people are looking at me because i'm there with my hoodie tied round my waist, waltzing through Wakey like its summer. I felt like the tarts you see up town with hardly any clothes on. I considered saying to them "Don't you just love this icy fresh air?" But me being sooo tolerant, i didn't say a thing. I was nearly the colour of a smurf, i was that cold. At one point i felt like saying to hell with it and just putting my top back on, arse crack out and everything. Well it wasn't litterally out, i had pants on, not boxers, but pants, hey don't judge me... it was laundry day.
This isn't the first time its happened either. It happened once when i was in the park, on the swing, them tire swings are deadly i tell you. One minute your fine the next minute you're not.
Ah isn't life just filled with embarrassing little accidents.
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