Cosmetic Procedures

I get the world we live in is superficial but is there any need for all these procedures to make ourselves look like a reject from the Chucky films?!

My self-esteem would have to be at rock bottom before i went under-the-knife i tell you. Have you seen the stuff they do to you while you're asleep....no i wasn't meaning the procedure, i was talking about the abuse!

All these girls going for nose jobs, the surgeons aren't stupid they know that these procedures take hours, for the ones that are too ugly to be helped they don't bother too much. They just put them to sleep and hit them on the hooter (nose) with a sledgehammer. Bang! It's finished.

Poor girl wakes up a few hours after, what happened to my nose. It's part of the procedure dear, I thought you wanted a smaller nose, now you have an inverted one, all the lumps have gone!

Oh another one that is disgusting! That botox, all these stars are getting botox injections to smooth out their wrinkles, cream isn't enough anymore! To me that isn't really helping......as you can't feel, or move your face muscles. What is the fu**ing point!? You can't show emotion, you look like a friggin zombie!

Breast implants (a plus for the straight male readers. A minus for me), it's fu**ing disgusting! Cutting your tits open to shove some breast shaped silicone...thing, stuffed in them. A cheaper and less painful method is to just get a push up bra or stuff your old bra with some cushion material...or a sock or two. Don't say i didn't try to help!

Have you heard of these butt implants?!
You can now get a perfect J-Lo. But if you ask me then if it's a J-Lo you're offering then you can, kiss my ar*e. Have you seen how fat her butt is. You may as well just enter the world addition of the cake eating contest and save the money.

What worries me is what they put in these implants. What "if", they couldn't find any silicone and filled it with some flamable liquid by accident. If you farted or came down too hard on your ar*e it could explode!!

Think of the mess people!

Is it just me that is worried!

The Way

Does anybody know exactly where they want to end up in life?

I used to know what i wanted and needed from life. When i had just started college when i was 16 i was so sure i knew where i was heading. Now i'm not so sure things just seem to have changed somehow, i don't know if its me or if its circumstances that have changed me. The key word in all of this is "change". All of me is different from when i was younger, i never wanted to be different from what i was, i liked me then, i'm not sure about now. I think i'm a good person, but it irratates the hell out of me when people say stuff like "Darren, you're a nice lad" or "Darren, you're a well-rounded person". I have flaws like everybody else. It's not that i don't want to believe the same thing but people don't know me like i know myself.

I'm not sure what's wrong me, people i know would kill to have that sort of compliments thrown at them, but...not me.

All i want is a boyfriend, who is on the same page as me but until i get off this page i don't think that's going to happen. Nobody wants a screw up, i suppose i'm not a complete trainwreck, there are worse people than me, much worse people.

Bottom line. I suppose i'm not going to get anywhere until i make a decision about what i want out of life and my future.

Thick as Sh**!

When i was 15 i went to this youth group and the police came in to talk to us and handed out rape alarms right. They were there about a hour to advise us on how to remain safe. Stay in well lit areas and wherever possible, travel in groups of two or three...that sort of shit.

After they left we were trying them out and that. The youth group leader comes over to me and my friends and says "All you need to know really is, if you're getting raped then just get your alarm and hold to their ear whilst you're turning it on."

I'm no expert but i think that you don't have many options in that situation, the last thing you're going to be thinking of is getting the alarm close to their ear.

What you supposed to say? "Can you just stop a minute while i get my personal alarm out?!"
Come on give me some credit.

Seriously though this woman, she's a lesbian, with sensible shoes and everything...
Not that that's an excuse really, you don't see me saying stupid sh** like that do you?

Wait don't answer that...