In a previous post a put that i thought i like girls too...i've changed my mind.
I think i was just in a weird place. I did something i never thought i'd do and try to be and make myself believe that i'm something i'm not. I think sub-consciously i was trying to fit in with a crowd of straight lads (you know who you are), who's lives i will never be a part of and i will never rank high enough to be. At the end of the day i'm just the "gay guy at college", nothing more. Once i leave college they forget i exist. That's becoming blatantly obvious...
I suppose i twisted the truth a little (which i know, is wrong), just because i wasn't having much luck with the guys. Twisting the truth? Well that's slightly inaccurate, i did wonder what it would be like to be "normal" and be with a girl, but i'll always be different and i don't think that its a bad thing. The guys i mix with either just want to sleep with me and that's all (which is great),or they are straight. What a dilemma! I'm never lucky in love. I always get with the guys who treat me like sh** (not anymore) or i spend my days being miserable that the guys i fancy are straight.
It's funny you know, sometimes you know something is true but it takes you ages to admit it to yourself. I'm beginning to work out who my real friends are though and i'm disappointed to find that they aren't the ones i first thought.
So i take it back...
I'm not bi, i'm gay. End of.
