Alan Carr Obsession Volume 2

This is not going well i tell you. I'm beginning to understand why people suffer from alcoholism and drug abuse....but they've never heard of the "ism" i'm suffering from i tell you!

It's called "Alanism". I'm trying to crack the habit but i'm dying to quote him. This doesn't count by the way. I have to be careful there's people monitoring my behaviour.

Seriously, i'm beginning to wish i'd never heard of this guy, you know when you've done something you regret and you wish you could forget it?
It's like that.

Today has been the hardest day to cope with..."The Make Me Say Something About Alan Carr Police". They've been out in full force today, quoting him, trying to make me correct them when they get it wrong. I've been strung up, lashed with a cane.....tortured in McDonalds whilst eating a Big Mac Meal. They've been brutal! They aren't helping the situation but my resolve is strong and i'll get through this.

I'll keep you posted on this topic, i think its going to occur frequently...believe me.

Thank you for your support in this difficult hour, i just pray they don't resort to shock tactics!

P.S - if i don't post for a few weeks it's because i've died from withdrawal symptoms...ok thanks.

The Stigma That is Primark!

What is it with people and Primark?!

If you buy clothes from Primark, you get shit on. You get people saying shit stuff to you about the way you're dressed. What's up with Primark? It's a cheap shop, £4 for a T-Shirt, £11 for jeans, tanktops like £8 what's up with that. Fair enough if i had shit loads of cash i would go to like Topman and Monkey but you know what i'm not rich and neither is my family so....eat dirt all you haters of Primark!!!!!!!

Its ok for girls to shop there isn't it! But no if a guy goes in and buys some jeans, then sees somebody he knows then its like "Ohhhh new jeans?", say yeah and they're like "Hahahaha!".

What a set of $£%&*£s!

Alan Carr Obsession Volume 1

I can't believe myself i think i'm going psychotic or something. I just keep replaying what he says. I know its really quite sad and i think people in general are starting to get pissed off about it but i just think that it's ace. I get that i should just stop talking about it. Its really hard to let go of though. Few things in life make me that happy and i want to hang on to it.

It doesn't help when people keep reminding me of it (mentioning no names lol...). But i do have a neighbour called "Karen" and she is an alcoholic which may make things difficult to forget.

Then she has the cheek to spread rumours about me to other people on my crescent.

Anyway i'm going to seriously try to kick my bad habit. Nothing else i can do apart from that. Apart from going to see a shrink. Which i aint doing! Had that most of my life...not going down that road again!!

More soon!

Sugar Friend

Ever had a sugar daddy before???

Well now there's a new sugar in town. It's called the "Sugar Friend". You might be wondering how this works exactly, well...

With a sugar daddy you have to sleep with to get them to buy you things...a sugar friend is somebody who wants to sleep with you. This is what you use to your advantage. You flirt with them, you're nice to them....but you never sleep with them. That breaks the whole purpose really doesn't it!

I don't know what you're thinking about this but i can tell you, it has its perks. A free taxi, somebody to boost your ego by giving you compliments and they also send you money if you spin them a story.

No, seriously though, they're hard to come by but they're the latest craze in my world.

Keep a look out for an admirer and give them your number. They'll be eating out of your hand in no time.

Enjoy!