Does anybody else see the inevitable pointlessness of christmas tradition?
Ok when i was like 8,9,10,11 etc...i was interested in it. Presents, christmas trees, getting up at 5'o'clock christmas morning, christmas stockings. Ahhh how pointless that is now though.
Maybe i'm just not in the mood because as i've said before i'm absolutely broke. I hate it but it's true. Do you know what i hate? All these people that say stuff like, its about being a christian and the spirit of the lord our saviour. I'm not against religion (well maybe a little...) but they started it!
I'm sorry but if their lord was so great then why hasn't he saved me and everybody else? Why hasn't he saved animals from polution? Why has he stopped Woolworths from doing a singles chart (now you have to go to HMV)? Why has he given people genetic diseases like that women with the giant legs and that man with the swollen face? Why does he have a biography (the bible) that everybody apparently should have read at least once?!
If christmas is a christian tradition, why does the UK fu**ing celebrate it? ASBO's, rape, gun crime, muderers. They're not christians are they!? The lord is not about to save them or is he? I don't know how he works. But then again i'm not a believer.
I just don't see the relevance of it all. I'm not christian so why put yourself through it. If i had money i would force myself however....
Friday, 5 December 2008
Tuesday, 2 December 2008
The Guy from Boots
I went shopping with my mum and my sister on Saturday. We went around some shops, they were spending money, i was laughing at the big issue women and the retards of Wakefield.
We went into Boots (upstairs). I thought i'd gone to heaven. This guy behind the counter was so my type, tall, dark hair, nice bit of facial hair, brown eyes. But the most amazing thing ever was that he was the first guy that i found attractive and was drawn to in the longest time ever. I could not take my eyes off the guy, he was like a god or something.
I was awestruck, my sister went up to the counter and paid for her things. Something happened that never happens to me. I was blushing, my cheeks were literally on fire (that seems to happen a lot lately though, not sure if it is related or not) and i was....SHY. I could hardly speak, the most annoying thing was that he kept looking at me before we got to the counter and i got the impression that he was trying to make coversation. Well i was stuttering and mumbling. Generally making a tit of myself...
I need to get a grip on situations like that. I think it was because i wasn't expecting an amazing specimen like him to be in a place like that.
Hormones, i blame hormones!!
We went into Boots (upstairs). I thought i'd gone to heaven. This guy behind the counter was so my type, tall, dark hair, nice bit of facial hair, brown eyes. But the most amazing thing ever was that he was the first guy that i found attractive and was drawn to in the longest time ever. I could not take my eyes off the guy, he was like a god or something.
I was awestruck, my sister went up to the counter and paid for her things. Something happened that never happens to me. I was blushing, my cheeks were literally on fire (that seems to happen a lot lately though, not sure if it is related or not) and i was....SHY. I could hardly speak, the most annoying thing was that he kept looking at me before we got to the counter and i got the impression that he was trying to make coversation. Well i was stuttering and mumbling. Generally making a tit of myself...
I need to get a grip on situations like that. I think it was because i wasn't expecting an amazing specimen like him to be in a place like that.
Hormones, i blame hormones!!
Fear of Loss
Hi Blog. I'm writing this to you because i don't know who else to talk to, if anybody else is reading this then thanks.
Those of you who've lost people close to you. What does that feel like? I can't imagine losing somebody that i love. People say that life goes on but i can't imagine my life without my mum or my sister or even a lot of my friends. Everybody around me makes up my entire world/life. If that were taken away it would be like being alone in a strange place. I'm lucky, nobody i care about has died but i see people on the news and on T.V, who are paralysed by their grief, they can't eat, they can't sleep, they cry and get angry all the time, they shut down and don't speak at all or kill themselves. I'm not sure i could go through that.
Losing my mum for instance, she's always been there for me, supported me, been my mum and my best friend, she educated me when i couldn't face school. What would i do if the worst were to happen, i would be lost and alone with nobody. I mean, sure i've got my sister but she has her own life and kids, and my dad would be there because he'd feel guilty leaving my sister alone. But who have i got that cares about me, that would be there for me. I don't...is the answer.
I've been thinking about this for so long now and i feel that i really need to prepare for my adult life, where i have to fully stand on my own two feet. That is a scary thought...when in so many ways i'm not ready to do that.
I'm not in a rush to leave home, i think that growing up should be a slow process. In the past i had to grow up quick and that's why i want to things the right way now. My mum is always saying to me that i should make the most of my life, i believe that in the circumstances i'm in, i'm doing what i can in that department.
All i do know is that i have to find my own path in life, not follow somebody else's which a few people i know are doing as i speak.
Those of you who've lost people close to you. What does that feel like? I can't imagine losing somebody that i love. People say that life goes on but i can't imagine my life without my mum or my sister or even a lot of my friends. Everybody around me makes up my entire world/life. If that were taken away it would be like being alone in a strange place. I'm lucky, nobody i care about has died but i see people on the news and on T.V, who are paralysed by their grief, they can't eat, they can't sleep, they cry and get angry all the time, they shut down and don't speak at all or kill themselves. I'm not sure i could go through that.
Losing my mum for instance, she's always been there for me, supported me, been my mum and my best friend, she educated me when i couldn't face school. What would i do if the worst were to happen, i would be lost and alone with nobody. I mean, sure i've got my sister but she has her own life and kids, and my dad would be there because he'd feel guilty leaving my sister alone. But who have i got that cares about me, that would be there for me. I don't...is the answer.
I've been thinking about this for so long now and i feel that i really need to prepare for my adult life, where i have to fully stand on my own two feet. That is a scary thought...when in so many ways i'm not ready to do that.
I'm not in a rush to leave home, i think that growing up should be a slow process. In the past i had to grow up quick and that's why i want to things the right way now. My mum is always saying to me that i should make the most of my life, i believe that in the circumstances i'm in, i'm doing what i can in that department.
All i do know is that i have to find my own path in life, not follow somebody else's which a few people i know are doing as i speak.
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