Dramatic Exit...Stage Left

I'm not sure if i've shared this experience with anybody inside this blog or outside it but i feel that i should share my shame with the rest of the universe. 'The Truth Will Set You Free' and all.

This has to top my most embarrassing moments by far.

A couple of years back i was at my LGBT (that not a sandwich by the way), youth group. That stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bi-Sexual and Transgender. They were giving out personal alarms, some of you may know this part of the story (refer to post 'Thick as Shit'). This was because the police had been in talking about rape and murder becoming more common in young people. Well they handed them out and started talking. I was trying to listen, that night coincidently my exs were congrigating together talking about me in their corners like they usually do, well actually they're usually sh**ing each other in the corner but...back to the point.

Anyway, after they finish talking and ask if we had any questions, one of them pipes up and says something aimed at me, which was not funny. I got angry and said "Well there's one crime that a personal alarm can't help with, and that's having a small penis like you sla*s!"

We'd been sat in a roughly made up circle, with the youth staff sat in a line at the far end near the exit...seriously it was like a blockade of rug munchers and what gaps were there were filled by squashed puffs. For the thick people among you...basically there was all the big, butch lesbians sat at either side of the gay men and they were squashing the gay guys between them. Ok.

The point is i tried to storm off after saying that comment and i tried to squeeze through one of the gaps in the chairs and me being me, got my leg caught between the chair legs and...CRASH. Fell to the floor with only one shoe.....

People think they know embarrassment?! They don't, they have not been me for a day. Some people laughed (the immature ones) and the youth leaders asked me "Are you Ok, Darren?"
Did i look Ok!!?

I didn't go back for three weeks and even then i was remembered for being the bitch with a sharp tongue and only one shoe. Lovely...